The Art of Investing: What's Your Worth?

I usually start off my workshops and classes by talking about the fact that as women we often invest in the baddest handbags, shoes, clothes and hair but we don't often put much attention into our face/skin which is what people see the first and most when they see us. But the truth is deeper that the quality of your skin or the creativity of the makeup you are wearing, what shines the brightest when encounter you is THE VALUE OF YOUR SELF WORTH. How you esteem yourself and the value you have or have not placed upon yourself is what speaks the loudest. What's your value? How do you increase your value? How do you assess your value? Let's talk about the art of investing!

Invest- To endow with a quality; To devote time, effort and energy to something for the purpose of receiving a gain. Without investing in something, it is practically impossible it's increase its value. In my talks with women of all ages, from the ones who have no esteem to the ones with great, healthy esteem; there is a direct correlation with how much they invest in themselves. Ladies the simple truth is this: No matter where you are on the scale of Self-Worth and Self-Esteem, YOU MUST CONTINUALLY INVEST IN YOU!

Here are some key ways to invest in yourself and increase your value:

1. Spirituality- Strengthen your relationship with God by more time spent in prayer, Bible study and worship. There is nothing like an intimate relationship with the creator of the earth that will increase your esteem and worth. Do you know why He created you? Are you who he created you to be? There is nothing like knowing whose you are, who you are, where you're going and how to get there. Once you know this, maintaining healthy self-esteem and self-worth will be effortless.

2. Socially- Not only is it important how you to relate to God and yourself but life is all about relationships. We were created as social beings. How well do you interact with others? How do you handle conflict? How are your friendships and family ties? Often when God goes to bless us He uses people. THERE IS POWER IN PROPER ASSOCIATIONS! Anywhere worth going, you can't make it there alone. For some of us the reason we aren't growing/achieving the way we'd like to is because we can't sustain relationships that are intended to push us further. Take inventory of who's in your life. Who else do you need in your life to get where you need to go? Ask God to bring the right people into your space! Who needs to go in order to progress? Ask God for the strength to dissolve those relationships. Your circle of friends is a prophecy of your future...

3. Financially- Papa may have, Momma may have, but God bless the WOMAN who's got her own! Financial stability and empowerment often assist us in properly attending to other areas of our lives. What is your actual networth? How is your credit? Do you have adequate savings, cash reserves, investments? Do you own any property? Many of desire to do more than we currenty do but our biggest challenge is not having the financial resources. Take the steps to become completely debt free and financially empowered. You will be blessed to be a blessing!

4. Physically- Your body is a temple and should be treated as such. Some of us keep up our cars, clothes and offices at work better than we do our bodies. Women who truly have placed a high value on themselves understand that physical health must be a priority. Eating nutritiously, getting adequate rest, drinking sufficient water and exercising are the basics. Do you like who you see when you look in the mirror? I am a firm believer that every woman should have the ability to look at herself in the mirror in her birthday suit and feel beautiful. But unfortunately I know too many women can not do this. But why do spend so much time complaining without making changes. If we don't like what we see, we should make the changes that we can and embrace and accept the rest. Your body is a temple and should be treated as such!

5. Emotionally- I was interested to learn as I got older that there is a such term as emotional intelligence. I would dare say that as we would aren't naturally as gifted in this area as our male counterparts. We tend to think with our emotions way more often than we should. Do you have a firm grip on your emotions? Are they helping to push you forward or hindering you? Perception is reality for so many of us. As we move to become women of significance and not just success, it becomes extremely imperative to ensure that our "perspective" is not jaded with emotional traps. Check the glasses with which you are looking at life. If they are cracked or tinted, there is a possibility that everything you see is distorted. Emotional wholeness helps us to have a much healthier outlook on life.

You are worth investing in! We as women take care of husbands, children, and family. We are business owners, stay at home moms, and employees. We wear so many hats that it is easy to get lost in the shuffle. REMEMBER: If you don't refill your pitcher daily, at some point you won't have enough to pour and everyone will be affected. Take time for yourself, refresh daily and be a lifetime learner!

Me and My Analogies

I was at the Spa Retreat this year (which was AMAZING!), and I was getting breakfast on Saturday morning. I stopped over by the fruit salad and picked up a cup to put some fruit in. I noticed that it had a donut smudge on the side of it. I thought to myself let me get another clean cup. So I grabbed another cup and it also had another smudge on it. Now I didn't want to be wasteful so at this point I'm like what's going on, why are the cups dirty. Just then I looked down and discovered lo and behold I had some a smudge of donut glaze on my thumb from the yummy donut I picked up right before stopping at the fruit salad. Then I looked at the stack of cups and realized Wow, they started off clean, I was the one smudging them. Hmm.

Now I must admit normally I am quite analytical and can see a lesson in anything (my friends know this all to well lol), but definitely being at the Spa Retreat my spirit and mind was a little clearer so I instantly got a revelation. How many people do we know that can relate to this analogy whether they realize it or not. I have come across so many women whose attitude is "I don't do women" or "I've given up on men." This statement is always a red flag for me of someone who doesn't see their smudge. A few relational issues, okay no problem such is life. But once you develop a pattern of relationships where you are "misunderstood" or "unappreciated" or "mistreated" or whatever, after a while, the common denominator really is YOU. Unfortunately I believe this truth is too hard for some people to face just yet. I remember learning that the reason people faint or become unconscious is to protect the brain from processing to much pain so it just shuts down. I think so many people do the same thing emotionally, they just become unconscious. Totally unaware because they aren't yet ready to face deeply painful truths.

The unfortunate reality is though, until we face such controversial, confrontational truths about ourselves, we remain unable to change in those areas. So we keep blaming the "stack of cups" and everybody else as being the problem when really the problem and solution lies in one hard look in the mirror to see how we got the smudge on our thumbs. I especially find it sad for people in this predicament because I have been blessed to realize how much life is about relationships. I value them and pour into the relationships I have on many levels because I understand the value of people that you come across. It deeply grieves me to see people not able to attach to people long term and genuinely not realize that what they are bringing to the equation is the causing the conflict.

Now let me balance, I'm not saying that one person is completely to blame all the time because in any relationship it takes two to build. But when it comes to people who have what I call the "friendship deficiency", they aren't able to keep genuine lasting friendship because they don't possess enough of the "attaching" qualities such as selflessness, thoughtfulness, loyalty, patience, generosity, consideration, sacrifice, genuineness, honesty, or genuine love. These are people who I consider to have the donut smudge on their thumbs,every cup they come in contact with they will smudge and ruin relationships that really could have survived, minus the smudge.

Okay so wrapping up my soliloquoy, lol. We all need to really take time to evaluate ourselves. What do people really think of us? Who do people say we are when we're not around? What do we carry or give off in our interactions with people? And when we see unhealthy repetition in our interactions with people, isn't it time to look in the mirror. Chances are you don't keep running into the same circumstance by accident. And despite what most of these type of people love to think: IT'S NOT EVERYONE ELSE!

Just food for thought. Happy Memorial Day Weekend :)