So it's 2011 and it's 10 years after I graduated high school. (Shout out to MMA class of 2001, Millers!)So since 18 is like the official entrance to adulthood, I've realized I'm reflecting on my first 10 years of adulthood. And it hit me, maybe 28 should be a milestone too.(Mind you I won't even be 28 until April, but in true Tiffany fashion, I'm thinking ahead) What have I done so far? Where am I? Am I where I thought I'd be? Am I where I could have been? All running through my mind...
The truth is, in reflecting I've found I'm not where I thought I'd be and that's fine, but in addition I'm not even where I could have been. At first it was a slight bummer (only slight cause I'm truly an optimist). But after much prayer time, I've realized it's the perfect opportunity for a rebirth. So I've been doing a lot of reflecting on where God could have brought me to without my interventions and more importantly where I am allowing Him to take me from here. This has been the most liberating thing ever. I am in the happiest season of my life, it's amazing! I just wake up excited every day. And I truly have good reasons to not be, but I've realized one important fact: "What you don't allow to take you under will take you over, far over."
I feel like a butterfly breaking out of the cocoon. So much that was down inside I'm finally releasing. I'm having an adult growth spurt and it's totally spirit-led. God is so faithful and He really will complete any work in us that He's begun, but we gotta cooperate.
So what do I want to share with you. It's never too late for a rebirth. Take a self-inventory. Are you who you want to be? Are you the best you? If not, what are you waiting for. I know there's someone else that feels like me; there was a woman inside screaming to get out. I could hear her. I could feel her. I desperately wanted her to come out, but I was too afraid. But after a while you get tired of living afraid (or for others like I was). And if you ignore her long enough you begin to forget she's there but you can always feel her cry. DON'T LET HER CRY and DON'T LET HER DIE! She's who God has designed for you to be and she's made in His image. (He for my fellas, can't leave you out) Especially for my parents out there. One of my hugest motivations is Jordan. How can I tell him to be all he can be and he can do anything if I haven't? I would rather demonstrate that to him and he'll follow in my footsteps. That hit me like a brickwall one day. How many parents tell their kids "You can do anything" and their children could probably reply "but you didn't/don't." We have to be that example.
Be your best you! Don't let anything stand in the way of who God created you to be and who you actually are being one in the same.
Peace and Love.
Butterfly stilshot
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
One Fast Year! (Labor Story)
You hear people say it all the time, "Enjoy your children while they're young because time goes fast." It's not that you don't believe people but sheesh, it's different when you've actually stepped into that position. Here I am reflecting one year later after the birth of my precious son. I can't believe that the first year has gone by this fast.
This time last year I was napping, nursing, entertaining guests, and bonding with Jordan who I has just met. I had Jordan at 4:40 am so I did most of my labor on 1/19. I truly loved labor, it was a beautiful experience I look forward to again one day. I started having contractings at about 9am on the 19th. They were inconsistent and coming about every 15 minutes; just pre-labor. I remember I began timing them, but I had had so many pre-term labor contractions that I wasn't even thinking this was going anywhere. They continued all day still inconsistently but always around 10 minutes. I ate light foods all day, walked and rested just in case. That evening when my husband got home, we continued to time them and finally called my midwife. She told us to keep breathing and call us when they were about 5 mins apart. Around 6pm my parents came over (all excited lol) and I kept timing contractions. I must mention that my contraction distraction of the day was Wii, I played all day and evening. Even in between contractions, I would bowl, stop to breathe through a contraction, and then resume my turn lol. It really helped. My goal was to deliver all natural so I was focusing my mind away from the pain; even though it really wasn't that bad at that point. Finally around 10 pm the contrations got serious and I knew it was time to head to the hospital.
I got to Mercy just after 11pm. I had planned to do a water birth and I was very happy they had birthing pools in the rooms. At that point the contractions were starting to take my breath away but even still something in me was thinking this wasn't the real thing and they were gonna send me home. When I got checked and I was 5 cm. I liked to shout to glory lol! After getting checked I relaxed and continued to breathe through my contractions for a little bit before taking a shower. That water did amazing things for the back pressure, whew. After my shower I laid down and continued my breathing. At about 3am, my life started flashing before me LOL. I was like ok when can I get in the tub (7cm for the first baby is the requirement so it doesn't stall labor). I got checked and I finally was able to get in the tub at about 3:30am. Just after I did, IT GOT REAL WHEW. I started thinking I may need drugs, but everyone kept encouraging me I could do it. I wasn' t so sure though, lol. I jumped from 7-10cm in about one hour (one of the many benefits of going natural, the body is able to work faster). Unfortunately Jordan had pooped and they spotted meconium so I couldn't deliver in the pool. In retrsopect, I'm actually glad that I pushed from the table, it made it much easier. I got out of the tub at like 4:20. I did two more contractions on the table. I'll never forget hearing the most glorious words ever "You can push with the next one." I heard the heavens open up and saw angels lol. I pushed three times. He crowned on the first two and came sliding out on the third one. It's no feeling like that, simply amazing.
Jordan Joshua Love, born Wednesday January 20th, 2010 @ 4:40am. It was the best day ever!
This time last year I was napping, nursing, entertaining guests, and bonding with Jordan who I has just met. I had Jordan at 4:40 am so I did most of my labor on 1/19. I truly loved labor, it was a beautiful experience I look forward to again one day. I started having contractings at about 9am on the 19th. They were inconsistent and coming about every 15 minutes; just pre-labor. I remember I began timing them, but I had had so many pre-term labor contractions that I wasn't even thinking this was going anywhere. They continued all day still inconsistently but always around 10 minutes. I ate light foods all day, walked and rested just in case. That evening when my husband got home, we continued to time them and finally called my midwife. She told us to keep breathing and call us when they were about 5 mins apart. Around 6pm my parents came over (all excited lol) and I kept timing contractions. I must mention that my contraction distraction of the day was Wii, I played all day and evening. Even in between contractions, I would bowl, stop to breathe through a contraction, and then resume my turn lol. It really helped. My goal was to deliver all natural so I was focusing my mind away from the pain; even though it really wasn't that bad at that point. Finally around 10 pm the contrations got serious and I knew it was time to head to the hospital.
I got to Mercy just after 11pm. I had planned to do a water birth and I was very happy they had birthing pools in the rooms. At that point the contractions were starting to take my breath away but even still something in me was thinking this wasn't the real thing and they were gonna send me home. When I got checked and I was 5 cm. I liked to shout to glory lol! After getting checked I relaxed and continued to breathe through my contractions for a little bit before taking a shower. That water did amazing things for the back pressure, whew. After my shower I laid down and continued my breathing. At about 3am, my life started flashing before me LOL. I was like ok when can I get in the tub (7cm for the first baby is the requirement so it doesn't stall labor). I got checked and I finally was able to get in the tub at about 3:30am. Just after I did, IT GOT REAL WHEW. I started thinking I may need drugs, but everyone kept encouraging me I could do it. I wasn' t so sure though, lol. I jumped from 7-10cm in about one hour (one of the many benefits of going natural, the body is able to work faster). Unfortunately Jordan had pooped and they spotted meconium so I couldn't deliver in the pool. In retrsopect, I'm actually glad that I pushed from the table, it made it much easier. I got out of the tub at like 4:20. I did two more contractions on the table. I'll never forget hearing the most glorious words ever "You can push with the next one." I heard the heavens open up and saw angels lol. I pushed three times. He crowned on the first two and came sliding out on the third one. It's no feeling like that, simply amazing.
Jordan Joshua Love, born Wednesday January 20th, 2010 @ 4:40am. It was the best day ever!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Refusing to Settle Ever Again!
So I'm at work this morning and I got this sudden craving for a Panera Bacon, Egg and Cheese on Ciabatta. Man I could already taste it and as hard as I work, I decided hey I'm gonna treat myself. (I never eat breakfast, really tryna work on that.) I look at the time and its 10:20 so I'm thinking I can make it by the time they stop serving breakfast at either 10:30 or 11. But when I got there, at 10:33, lo and behold I was too late. I tried to look at the menu to find a lunch item that would suffice but I didn't. So I decided to just go to McDonald's and get a Bacon, Egg and Cheese on a Bagel. Hey it wouldn't satisfy the craving but I wouldn't be hungry anymore.
However, I just now happened to look up and realize that I ate half the sandwich, a third of the hashbrown and really not enjoying this lemonade lol. Then, without thinking, I just threw the sandwich away. And guess what...I'm still hungry! I just couldn't get into that McDonalds sandwich cause I still had the taste for that Ciabatta bread in my mouth.
Maaaan, my brain just started clicking and thinking about my life. How many times have I done the same thing on a much larger scale: SETTLED. I think we do it so much we don't even realize it sometimes. And it's funny because I think just like with my breakfast sandwich, the rationale is well hey it'll at least fill my need. BUT IT DOESN'T (hence me still being hungry lol.)
2010 was the year where it struck me like lighting; how much I had settled in various areas of my life. I know lots of selfish people who tend to always think of themselves. Then there's me, the true blue, self-sacrificing to a fault. Completely on the other end of the spectrum; always thinking of everyone else. Neither case is good, there's gotta be a balance. After fully realizing that last year I started trying and am continuing this year to put myself on the list of people whose needs I consider and weigh heavily. Man, it's a real adjustment! But it's a necessary one. I'm determined that this is my time! I'm pushing forward with all those dreams I've been waiting to get around to, settling for a second best life while I take care of everyone else. Never again will I settle for anything less than God's absolute best for me in career, relationships, finances, and every area of my life.
I challenge you to think of the areas where you may be settling for second best. Are you sitting in front of the sandwich in any areas of your life trying to figure out why you just can't eat it, especially since you're hungry? Could it be that it isn' t God's best for you and you know it. Especially in terms of career. This is where I find most people settle. They get the nice cushy job with benefits and are just too comfortable to take the leap to where they are really created to be. Fill the hunger for real, BE WHO YOU ARE CREATED TO BE! It is so liberating.
However, I just now happened to look up and realize that I ate half the sandwich, a third of the hashbrown and really not enjoying this lemonade lol. Then, without thinking, I just threw the sandwich away. And guess what...I'm still hungry! I just couldn't get into that McDonalds sandwich cause I still had the taste for that Ciabatta bread in my mouth.
Maaaan, my brain just started clicking and thinking about my life. How many times have I done the same thing on a much larger scale: SETTLED. I think we do it so much we don't even realize it sometimes. And it's funny because I think just like with my breakfast sandwich, the rationale is well hey it'll at least fill my need. BUT IT DOESN'T (hence me still being hungry lol.)
2010 was the year where it struck me like lighting; how much I had settled in various areas of my life. I know lots of selfish people who tend to always think of themselves. Then there's me, the true blue, self-sacrificing to a fault. Completely on the other end of the spectrum; always thinking of everyone else. Neither case is good, there's gotta be a balance. After fully realizing that last year I started trying and am continuing this year to put myself on the list of people whose needs I consider and weigh heavily. Man, it's a real adjustment! But it's a necessary one. I'm determined that this is my time! I'm pushing forward with all those dreams I've been waiting to get around to, settling for a second best life while I take care of everyone else. Never again will I settle for anything less than God's absolute best for me in career, relationships, finances, and every area of my life.
I challenge you to think of the areas where you may be settling for second best. Are you sitting in front of the sandwich in any areas of your life trying to figure out why you just can't eat it, especially since you're hungry? Could it be that it isn' t God's best for you and you know it. Especially in terms of career. This is where I find most people settle. They get the nice cushy job with benefits and are just too comfortable to take the leap to where they are really created to be. Fill the hunger for real, BE WHO YOU ARE CREATED TO BE! It is so liberating.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Where Should I Start...
So what will my first post (other than the introductory one lol) be about? I think I should start off with something that is very dear to my heart. PROGRESS! I am allergic to stagnation. I will forever be a lifelong learner and achiever. I've never met Procrastination, but I don't want to. From what I hear, we won't like each other.
So it's a New Year and people are super excited about making new changes. It's the same thing. Every year people make New Year's resolutions and before it gets warm lol, that excitement is long gone. (I'm really so anti-New Year's resolutions by the way) SO WHAT HAPPENS? Weren't people well intentioned in their goal setting? Well there it is right there. Most people never actually goal set. They just spew out lots of good ideas, genuinely thinking they're goal setting. I've been saying this for years and I'm gonna say it forever. If it's not written down with a target date and measurable outcomes, it's not a goal it's just a good idea. Don't fool yourself and think you'll just remember; especially if you're not a naturally goal-oriented, driven person. You must write it down lol! I have a business degree from Hampton University. I remember going through the exercises and the very detailed manner companies strategically plan. SWAT analyses, and progress tracking, feedback from consumers, etc, all help to compile a comprehensive plan. If businesses have enough sense to make a detailed plan of action, how much more important is it for us to do so with our lives that are much more precious than any product any business is selling (even mine lol)
So don't just speak about it, be about in 2011. Keep the fire of your excitement fresh all year long. Revisit your goals every month and track your progress. I must note that this is not just the case for goals such as starting a business or going back to school. But even if you want to improve on yourself or relationships. It is realistic to write a goal such as: "I will control my attitude by said date. I will learn to be pleasant to be people no matter how I feel." <one of my old goals from 2009, and I've come lightyears with this one> As long as it's not written down people can always get you with the "I'm working on it", but are you really? How can we tell if you're working on it? BY SEEING THE FRUIT. {Gotta holla at my perpetual I'm-working-on-it folks for a sec}Every gardener knows that based on when you plant the seeds, there is a certain time you should expect to see the fruit sprout up. So even with inside matters, it is very realistic to put a time frame to it. God doesn't take forever, it's usually us. I've found that "I'm working on it" really translates into "I'm trying to decide whether or not I really wanna do it." When people make a decision to do better, they simply do better. So don't hide behind the "I'm working on it", but actually work on it.
I revisited my 2010 goals and realized that they were all but one met. How exciting was that! So it gives me renewed energy to set new ones, carry over the one that wasn't completed yet and keep it moving. So I challenge you to step away from the emotionalism and excitement and sit down to formulate a plan. It's time to live life on purpose and stop expecting happiness and success to fall out of the sky. They're waiting for you to cultivate them.
HAPPY GOAL SETTING!
So it's a New Year and people are super excited about making new changes. It's the same thing. Every year people make New Year's resolutions and before it gets warm lol, that excitement is long gone. (I'm really so anti-New Year's resolutions by the way) SO WHAT HAPPENS? Weren't people well intentioned in their goal setting? Well there it is right there. Most people never actually goal set. They just spew out lots of good ideas, genuinely thinking they're goal setting. I've been saying this for years and I'm gonna say it forever. If it's not written down with a target date and measurable outcomes, it's not a goal it's just a good idea. Don't fool yourself and think you'll just remember; especially if you're not a naturally goal-oriented, driven person. You must write it down lol! I have a business degree from Hampton University. I remember going through the exercises and the very detailed manner companies strategically plan. SWAT analyses, and progress tracking, feedback from consumers, etc, all help to compile a comprehensive plan. If businesses have enough sense to make a detailed plan of action, how much more important is it for us to do so with our lives that are much more precious than any product any business is selling (even mine lol)
So don't just speak about it, be about in 2011. Keep the fire of your excitement fresh all year long. Revisit your goals every month and track your progress. I must note that this is not just the case for goals such as starting a business or going back to school. But even if you want to improve on yourself or relationships. It is realistic to write a goal such as: "I will control my attitude by said date. I will learn to be pleasant to be people no matter how I feel." <one of my old goals from 2009, and I've come lightyears with this one> As long as it's not written down people can always get you with the "I'm working on it", but are you really? How can we tell if you're working on it? BY SEEING THE FRUIT. {Gotta holla at my perpetual I'm-working-on-it folks for a sec}Every gardener knows that based on when you plant the seeds, there is a certain time you should expect to see the fruit sprout up. So even with inside matters, it is very realistic to put a time frame to it. God doesn't take forever, it's usually us. I've found that "I'm working on it" really translates into "I'm trying to decide whether or not I really wanna do it." When people make a decision to do better, they simply do better. So don't hide behind the "I'm working on it", but actually work on it.
I revisited my 2010 goals and realized that they were all but one met. How exciting was that! So it gives me renewed energy to set new ones, carry over the one that wasn't completed yet and keep it moving. So I challenge you to step away from the emotionalism and excitement and sit down to formulate a plan. It's time to live life on purpose and stop expecting happiness and success to fall out of the sky. They're waiting for you to cultivate them.
HAPPY GOAL SETTING!
I'm Blogging
Well hello world! I'm excited to be blogging again. It's been a serious minute since I've done so. I was trying so hard to figure out whether or not I would revive my old blog or start a new one. I read through some of my old blogs and had the best laugh ever. But I decided that I'm a totally different person now so it was time for a fresh blog. BEWARE: I plan on being super transparent in this blog. I don't know any other way. And yet, I'm always told my transparency blesses people. Anyone who knows me knows I'm all about transparency. I CAN'T STAND FAKENESS. Plastic people make my skin itch. <my bad slight vent, I digress>
Three reasons I decided to blog again. 1.Lot's of people have been commenting on my Facebook statuses, both on FB and mostly in person, and just saying how much they have been blessing them. 2. A lot of people have also been telling me (well shoving down my throat lol) that I have a lot of wisdom and things I say help hem, even when I'm really not trying to. 3. Being a PK of a good size church, my whole life is partially on display. This is something I've learned to live with and embrace. Each season of my life there are people watching. So I've made up in my mind that since I have to be on display, why not let God be glorified in every season. This has been especially true in my current season. Soooo many people have said they've been blessed by seeing how God is keeping and actually flourishing me despite the obstacles.
So basically since I've realized that my random (and they really are random lol) thoughts seem to bless people; I'm gonna share them. Plus there is something so freeing and purging about writing that I know I will probably be more blessed in the process of sharing.
Let the blogging begin!
Three reasons I decided to blog again. 1.Lot's of people have been commenting on my Facebook statuses, both on FB and mostly in person, and just saying how much they have been blessing them. 2. A lot of people have also been telling me (well shoving down my throat lol) that I have a lot of wisdom and things I say help hem, even when I'm really not trying to. 3. Being a PK of a good size church, my whole life is partially on display. This is something I've learned to live with and embrace. Each season of my life there are people watching. So I've made up in my mind that since I have to be on display, why not let God be glorified in every season. This has been especially true in my current season. Soooo many people have said they've been blessed by seeing how God is keeping and actually flourishing me despite the obstacles.
So basically since I've realized that my random (and they really are random lol) thoughts seem to bless people; I'm gonna share them. Plus there is something so freeing and purging about writing that I know I will probably be more blessed in the process of sharing.
Let the blogging begin!
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